wishbone clover

Diddy Asks WTF On Behalf of A Puzzled Nation

We're all puzzled about the choice of Sarah Palin as John McCain's running mate. While I'm interested to see how the whole "Sarah's is Trig's Grandmother" thing is going to play out, it's her lack of experience that is most disturbing.

I think Diddy says it best: McCain, you are buggin'!

Lego Eddie Izzard

Happy Friday.

Blood, Amalgam, Horror: Awkward Date Proposals

Saturday afternoon I visited the dentist to get my fangs ship-shape before I take off for Asia.

"Wow," the dentist mused."You sure have cute teeth!"

My sensors, already primed, went into red alert. "JESUS," I thought. "Am I going to have to find another dentist?"

"My kids have cute teeth too," he continued. "Now sit up and spit."

Disaster averted.

Serving Jail Time for Library Fines?

My fear of library fines is well justified. Let's just say, even as I write, I have overdue fines I need to pay at the old SFPL. (Only $1.40 due on Chicago: Lonely Planet City Guide) Anyhow, while I left home and saddled my parents with years of fines, and almost didn't graduate college for...yes, you guessed it, more fines - it's scary to know that in Wisconsin, they don't take kindly to ignoring the library's calls.

Four Things I Still Haven't Done

1. Coke

Unlike Cat, I have been offered coke in the bathroom at bars, but I've never been a taker.

Why not? Oh, because I'm a scaredy cat. Also, that Sex and the City model has never appealed to me: the $18k magazine job, revolving wheel of investment banker sex partners, parties where people are unsubtly awful to each other. Sure, I send out my clothes to the wash-and-fold, but that's where I draw the line.

Four Things I Never Thought I'd Do

1. Send out my laundry.

I remember visiting my college friend Cara in Brooklyn when she first graduated. EB and I were still in school and marveled at Cara's strange life: 10 p.m. dinners, sushi cafeteria lunches, most of all: the laundry. She sent out her clothes to a wash-and-fold service and they returned neatly folded and wrapped in paper.

"So strange!" I said to EB. In farm country where I grew up, we hung clothes on the line even in winter. What do you mean, the still-frozen towels chafe? Deal.

Writers Are People, Too

I don't know when it occurred to me that writers were more like the neighborhood postman than the romantic leads my imagination would make them: living in wind-lashed cottages on the Maine shore or clicking on rusted typewriters in Upper East Side walk-ups, surrounded by tissues misted by consumptive coughs.

Willie Brown snatched my "Gavin is Batman" bit!

I have to admit, I was hoping that someone would mention my Batman/Mayor McHottie post to Gavin Newsom. Stefania got a call from him after posting his High School picture, so I figured comparing him to Christian Bale was at least worth a postcard from his honeymoon, right?

But now that will never happen because former Mayor Willie Brown totally stole my schtick!

Ernie Eats Koekjes In Bed

You will be amazed to find that you understand every word.

Happy weekend!

Woman Haunted by Truth of Big Hair Past