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The Adam Lambert Tears for Fears Video -- Saving You From DVR Fail

UPDATE: YouTube took down the video, but you can go here and see all of Adam's high pitched glory.

Tonight the Twitterverse almost collapsed in cardiac arrest when American Idol ran late and our DVRs failed to capture the music theater genius -- and Jonas Brother Hair -- of Adam "Don't Ask Don't Tell" Lambert. (cue laugh track, roll "My BFF Stefania said that" credit)

I found it on YouTube and present it here for your viewing pleasure. Adam gives a stirring performance from his forth-coming album "Songs in the Key of Dog Whistle" (credit to Glennia for that hilarious album title.)

At the end, Simon gives Adam a standing ovation, but not in the sexual way. That I know of!

I think we might have to go see this season's American Idols on Tour. Better start saving up for bail now!

Ballas Hough Band - CD Review

You all know how much I adore Dancing With the Stars, so it makes sense that I would leap at the chance to review the new CD by Ballas Hough. That's the band formed by DWTS champs and professional cuties, Mark Ballas and Derek Hough. 

The boys, who grew up together, have always loved music as much as dancing. They finally made an album, filled with songs they wrote themselves, plus one from hit maker -- and my new favorite American Idol judge -- Kara DioGuardi. They even play instruments!

So of course you want to know how it sounds, right?

Pause.

Pause.

Ummmmm...

Pretty much exactly like what you imagine. I mean, look at them. Derek's band bio should read "guitar, vocals and lead flat iron."

It's cute. It's fun. They sing pop hits. There was even this one song, Birthday, that sort of rocked out.

In the immortal words of Paul Stanley, KISS Guitar and Makeup God -- and artist: "It's just good, fun music. If you're looking for something deeper, you're looking too hard."

Sure, Paul Stanley was talking about ABBA on Behind the Music, but you get the idea.

If you like the Jonas Brothers and Miley and all that music "the kids" play, you'll enjoy Ballas Hough -- check it out. 

Harold Van Buuren - the Only Superstar of Dance on the Show

I tuned into Superstars of Dance to watch LordoftheDance^sm Michael Flatley and his "brogue" -- you know he was born in Chicago, right? --  fawn over the dancers. But I stayed for my new favorite mean judge of all time, Harold Wayne Van Buuren, of South Africa.

Sorry, Simon, there's a new truth teller in town, and he has fierce stenciled-on facial hair.

Let's Critique Dudes' Asses, For A Freaking Change

   

Granted, I played my part in the whole "Is Carly Pregnant?" rumor mill. Mea culpa.

But in retrospect, I find it irritating in the extreme that the internets got overheated gossiping about  Carly's weight, and no one has said one word about doughy David Cook's bowl of oatmeal appearance.

Look at her! She is adorable. Look at him! Really, look at that picture.

Those sloppy, fat chins! All the shiny spots and weird wrinkles! His totally receding hairline!

Is "That Irish Girl" on American Idol Pregnant?

Last night the More Beatles American Idol sucked. Randy agreed with me. Totally boring.

Except...

There was something about Carly Smithson, or as Simon refers to her, "That Irish Girl", that I couldn't quite put my finger on. Something physical. Like she's getting a bit rounder each week.

American Idol Now Homo-Free, Still 100% Gay

Oh, don't worry. Ryan Seacrest is still there. But they kicked off gay-nude-dancer/bad singer David Hernandez, the "other" gay contestant, last night.

I'm guessing it was an especially a bad week to be a "former" sex worker, in terms of getting the American public to vote for you.

His simulated blow job microphone moves might not have helped, either. Or maybe that was all that was keeping him on. Who's to say in this pay-for-kinky-sex-crazed world we live in? And more importantly, when will people learn to do the dirty stuff at home where it can be shameful and secret like God intended?

Special Note to Stefania: girl, I suspect a certain balding emo-kid is going to teach you to love the Beatles with his Creedization of All The Lonely People. He out Vedder'd Vedder. Word.

The Couple That Heckles Together

Chief and me, "bonding" at Moonshadows in Malibu, scene of Mel Gibson's boozing, pre-"sugar tits" rant

Chief watches reality TV with me. At first it was just because he's a good sport, but now he really likes it, too. I can tell.

This week we finally got into the new season of American Idol. (The early rounds are just too, too stupid to bother watching.)

We lounge on our pale-yellow microfiber sectional and attempt to channel Simon Cowell while the "contestants" caterwaul.