wishbone clover

Yeah, My Dad is Straight G

 

Yeah, that's right. He has TWO pairs of glasses. And a fedora.

Mess with him at your own peril, evildoers!

Drinks, Dinner, Dead Guy

The medical debris left after firemen came and saved a man's life.

Last night I had a lady date with my good friend, Tiger. I met her at Fuzio in the Castro, because we like that Firecracker chicken (the lettuce wrap version). Also, the cocktails are big and strong, like the boyz of the Castro.

We hadn't seen each other since before the holidays, so we were having one of those catch up conversations where you start a new story in the middle of a sentence, but you both can keep track of everything.

And then the guy sitting five feet away keeled over and turned blue.

A hush fell over the restaurant, and no one did anything for 30 long seconds. Then half the people stepped back, and the other half rushed forward.

Chris Harrison is my new Blogging Idol

It's so easy to dismiss Chris Harrison, host of ABC reality TV crack, The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. Easy to consider him a mere masculine Vanna White, who does little but carry trays of long stem roses and verbalize hyperbole about The Most Dramatic Rose Ceremony EVER!

But you would be wrong. Still, perfectly coiffed waters run deep. Thanks to the magic of blogging now we have access to the cavernous depths of Chris' mind. And he's awesome!

He has opinions! He talks smack about the contestants! He's funny!

Go check out his post on last night's Bachelorette episode, where he gets in some fantastic digs at Wes, The Dumbest Contestant Ever. You will be hooked. 

I Miss Maude, Too

Props to the brilliant as usual Go Fug Yourself Girls for posting the link to this priceless video of Bea Arthur as Carrie Bradshaw.

Thanks for the memories Maude. We miss you.

(Yes, that's Sally Struthers, Katherine Hellman and Mrs. Garret from the Facts of Life.)

"The Ghost and Mrs. Muir" - Childhood TV Crushes

Even in the early 70s, my taste in men ran to salty old sods with old fashioned ideas and dashing facial hair.

Sure, the The Ghost and Mrs. Muir film starring Gene Tierney and Rex Harrison is wonderful. But for my money, the TV series takes the cake.

Starring Hope Lange, her awkward hair and the lip-bitingly dashing Edward Mulhare (he's from County Cork, you know) the show played an important part in my emotional and psycho-sexual development.

I mean, God, that Captain Daniel Gregg is devastating! Check out this come hither gaze around 4:44 in the video and try to control your knee shakes. Sexy, emotionally inaccessible ghosts are hot!

Anyway, I regularly try to convince Chief to grow an "Evil Red Beard" and it's totally because of Mulhare/Captain Gregg.

Chief consistently dismisses the beard idea as "silly" and "wrong-headed" and somehow, Captain Gregg-like, that's totally satisfying too!

Mayor McHottie says "Vote NO on Prop 8!" in his usual seductively hoarse voice

I am voting No on Prop 8 anyway because it's stupid and prejudiced and mean and flat out wrong. But I'll also take any opportunity to post about Gavin "Mayor McHottie" Newsom.

Here he is, appearing yet again as Batman, in this PSA. To paraphrase from an earlier Gavin speech, unironically used by the nasty right to scare their ignorant conservative base into action, GAY MARRIAGE IS HERE TO STAY SO GET USED TO IT!

Why should straight people have all the fun? Watch, enjoy and vote!

The Blue Angels: Patriotic or Idiotic?

Video: Top Gun, A Manly Love Story

It's that time of year again in San Francisco. Warm, sunny days. Gorgeous, azure-blue, cloud-free skies. And the ear-splitting blast of killer planes buzzing office buildings and city homes.

Cripes! We're at war. Gas prices are at an all time high. Every time Iceman and Goose fly by, I imagine them punching yet another hole in the atmosphere, melting the ice caps and killing a polar bear. Is this annual martial display really necessary?

Each year I complain about the waste and environmental toll, and each year Chief strongly disagrees with me, reminding me that it's a) "fucking cool" and b) the biggest recruiting tool in the armed forces' arsenal.

As a marketing professional, I question the efficacy of the acquisition tactic. Does making pets cower and babies on the street cry, while you burn liquid gold and further pollute our skies, the magic ticket to make guys (and gals) want to serve our country?

Don't answer. Let's assume, for the sake of my pinko-greeno-liberal sanity that, "No, it doesn't work."

In that case, I have a recommendation for an alternative approach: a cost-effective, targeted, direct mail campaign!

Now that Clay is (openly) gay, I like him

Call me a liberal hypocrite, but Clay Aiken is now totally cool in my book.

Kudos to Clay for wanting to show his newborn son that being gay is nothing to hide or be ashamed about. And as everyone knows, a People cover story proves that everything is okay!

How cool this kind of admission used to be a career stopper, and now it's becoming a simple human interest story that gets you enough press to warrant an appearance on Dancing With the Stars. (Go Lance Bass! Woot!)

Seriously, it makes a big difference that he is out of the closet. Every public person who comes out makes it that much more "normal" for the sheltered folk who still see homosexuality as something deviant that can be prayed away.

Good or bad, as a nation, we make a lot of decisions based on what celebrities make normal. I have high hopes that the more "normal" gay gets in popular culture, the more ridiculous and inhumane it becomes to refuse gay couples the same protections and benefits as straight couples.

I imagine that all those laws trying to prevent gay marriage will finally shrivel up  the moment US Weekly publishes the wedding album of Lindsay and Sam. Celebrity lesbians, they're just like us!

Back to Clay. Let's hope this means he'll make an appearance on the next season of Kathy Griffin's show!

And a personal message to Kathy: Lady! I hope you sent Clay a lovely baby gift. This guy is now part of your posse.

2008 Presidential Race Heroes: Obama!

Lately I can't seem to talk about anything besides politics! My pop culture interests have been pushed to the wayside. It's so bad that I almost missed Minnie Driver's new baby. She still won't tell us who the dad is, but my hope/money is on her The Riches co-star Eddie Izzard. Wouldn't that coupling be a be big stew of wild-eyed talent and lunacy?

In an attempt to get the civics out of my system, and hopefully back on the funny track, I put together my thoughts on the Heroes & Villains of the presidential race. You can probably guess which is which for me.

Let's begin today with the first Hero, Barack Obama.

Obama the man

First, how can anyone call him elite? He and Michelle are both scholarship kids who worked their asses off to get where they are. And instead of sitting back and enjoying the fruits of their success, with cushy jobs and an "escape" from their roots, they threw themselves right back into the fray, taking lower paying work that benefits the community.

Sometimes You Gotta Laugh - Steven Wright to the Rescue

When times are trying, and you don't have an afternoon to hide under the covers watching 30 Rock, I have a short list of quotes from my favorite comedian (after Lewis Black, of course) that I use as a sort of "Emergency Pick Me Up". I was delighted to find the complete collection here, and I will leave you with this one, "Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a second." Thanks Steven!