wishbone clover

Eternal, Unquenchable Fire of Gingivitis

Yea, though I walked through the valley of the shadow of death, I had health insurance, and I returned. From the dentist.

Fear of the dental arts came to me at an early age. My family was poor and visited a city clinic for dental care. When I was about ten I had two fillings without anesthesia, which wasn't covered by state insurance. The dentist cared for several patients at once, so I was left in the chair with a mirror trained on the hollow shells of two molars for an hour while he battered away at someone else's grill.

Now I'm on a regular check-up schedule and seldom get cavities. Yet visits to the dentist still remind me of those evangelical 'hell houses' that were all the rage in the 90's.

Spring Cleaning

Technically, I'm not sure this is a phobia, but it is something I really don't want to do. People who know me now that, well, I have stuff. I'm pretty equal-opportunity with my stuff too. Socks can hang out with pens. Paper is pervasive. My lack of organizational compulsion has both hindered my career as a contemporary artists (paintings done with twigs picked at midnight, sand paintings of only a certain pink grain) it has also caused a general chaos in my life.

Well all, wish me luck. Today I begin my spring cleaning!

Poison!

Today at the schmancy grocery store up the street, Mr. Butcher did not wash up after wrapping my boneless, skinless chicken breasts.

He took my money, and as I watched him turn away to make change, it dawned on me that he hadn't crossed over to the sink. He was making change with raw chicken essence all over his hands.

I frowned, worried that effluvia of chicken-sickness was going to rub off on my change. Little did I suspect that it was going to be even worse.

Men on Babies

At a dinner table, four women (one pregnant) and one man discuss pregnancy nightmares.

Me: And there were no nurses or doctors in the hospital--totally abandoned! I woke up in a cold sweat.

Woman: For my training, we had to learn how to deliver a baby in an emergency. The main rule was don't drop the baby. The instructor said it like thirty times. Don't. Drop. The Baby.

Man: Is that even possible? That is what the cord is for. So the baby can't drop.