Get this: her step-dad Bruce "Botox-face" Jenner blames it on Kimmy's innate "shyness."
Wait. Isn't this the chick who rose to fame on the backside of her sex tape? The same sex tape I now feel compelled to go watch, just to confirm that she is literally, figuratively, and BDSM-wise, the biggest bottom ever?
Continue reading "Dancing With The Stars Season 7: Ass Girl Out! Gay To Win It All!" »
Chief and me, "bonding" at Moonshadows in Malibu, scene of Mel Gibson's boozing, pre-"sugar tits" rant
Chief watches reality TV with me. At first it was just because he's a good sport, but now he really likes it, too. I can tell.
This week we finally got into the new season of American Idol. (The early rounds are just too, too stupid to bother watching.)
We lounge on our pale-yellow microfiber sectional and attempt to channel Simon Cowell while the "contestants" caterwaul.
We watch tv. Sometimes I think it would be better to turn off the idiot box and spend that time being creative. Then I remember Dancing With The Stars, and fall in love all over again.
But those asswipes at Direct TV are really working my last nerve.
We have two tvs. The DVR in the bedroom died last month. No signal, no power, nothing. After a long phone call, Direct TV mailed us a new DVR. Chief tried to "install" it. Turns out that the new DVR was dead, too. So they sent us another one, which took a couple more days. Three weeks after the first one died, we finally had a tv signal in the bedroom again.
Two days later the DVR in the living room stopped working. I spent another 30 minutes on the phone with a well meaning but dim witted "supervisor" who finally came to the conclusion that they "need to send me a new box."
Oh really.
I wonder how many "new boxes" it will take this time.
A couple of years ago I fired Comcast for being a bunch of arrogant douche bags. Their product was okay, but the service was worse than visitor's day at prison. The folks at Direct TV answer the phone quickly, they are all fluent in English and really, really nice to me, the paying customer. Which is a good thing because I'm on the phone with them all-the-time. Because their equipment sucks. It sucks hard.
I'm reconsidering my position. Perhaps it's time to reconcile with the cable cabal and fire Direct TV for being nice but incompetent douche bags.
Chalk up another win for the intelligent asshole over the sweet accommodater. And we wonder why service is dead in this country.
I, for one, did not see this coming. From People, the sad news that Lame Head Andy and Too Good For This Tessa are taking some time to evaluate their relationship, aka Step 1 in the Squeezing Out Two More Minutes of Fame Through a Gradual Public Break Up dance.
Best line in the People story: they've broken their engagement, but not their bond
That is so gag-me. How gag-me? Every proana site in the world now has this at the top of their thinspirations puking tips.
Also, nice angle on that photo of Tessa's ass, ABC. I'm sure she offers thanks to you daily for making that the show's final publicity shot while she surfs House of Thin and Starving for Perfection.
Some idiot "stars" (yeah, they're all sorta idiots, but this is even more dumb than usual so bear with me) complained about the pay scale for Dancing With The Stars. That's crazy! This gig has corporate life - not to mention McDonald's - beat in pretty much every dimension. Starting with the salary: For the first two weeks of season 3, the (otherwise unemployed) B/C/D-listers received $125k.
Yes, $125-zero-zero-zero. Just for hanging out with cute, very fit, long limbed people who teach them to dance. Not to edit excel spreadsheets or smelt iron or flip burgers. To dance. In cute costumes designed specifically to flatter their bodies. Plus these exhibitionist attention freaks get to do it all on TV for millions of viewers.
Each subsequent week they get "about another $20k" with the potential for a $50k bonus if there is a recap show, which is always. I'm no math genius, so it's fortunate that reality blurred added it up for us: $245k for eight weeks of work.
As an employee of the Knickerbocker Bank, I can tell you with complete confidence that there are MUCH worse ways to earn a buck. Someone needs to shut up and be grateful.
DWTS is still totally my favorite show. Mel B./Scary Spice is going to kick everyone's ass this season, especially if she dances with Dream Date Maks. Who I love. Plus, she might have her lawyer, the magnificently coiffed Gloria Allred in the audience. Now that's entertainment.
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